Growing Up Duggar - Jill Duggar, Jinger Duggar, Jessa Duggar, Jana Duggar - Google книги
Howard Books. And the Duggar daughters are no muss, no fuss about clothing as well. A Godly Man, like their Dad —"that would mean we desire the man we marry to be honest, hardworking, generous, and ministry-focused. Monied—"a good steward of his money with a goal of living debt-free within his finances. That can't be what the Lord intended when he invented smart phones.
Show Comments. Got a News Tip? She has given me permission to share her story in hopes that it can benefit others in similar situations. As one of the older children in her family, she felt a huge responsibility to set an example of loving encouragement for her younger siblings, but that seemed impossible when she was battling so many emotions herself. When she tried to talk with her dad about his leaving and tell him how hurt she and her siblings were, the conversation ended with both of them exploding in anger.
Each time we talked, I told her I would be praying for her—and particularly for her relationship with her father. But it seemed that she and her dad were growing further apart. When the divorce was finalized, it included mandatory visitation for the dad with all the children.
Maybe her dad meant well by not forcing her, but his words hurt her deeply. Despite the pain, she knew her relationship with her father was important. And she knew in her heart that her dad felt the same way. The girl decided to go, even though her heart was still full of so much pain and bitterness toward her dad that she was afraid it would come rushing out and damage their relationship even more. I encouraged the girl to honor her dad because, despite her hurt feelings, he is still her father.
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I suggested that to begin improving their relationship, the first thing she needed to work on was being positive. If she felt like she was going to say something critical or negative, I advised her that it would be better, at least for now, to choose not to say anything.
The Bible teaches that whenever we encounter those who are troubled by harmful character qualities—things like anger, dishonesty, impatience, vanity—we should pray that God will help them to develop the opposite quality—things like a peaceful demeanor, truthfulness, patience, and humility.
I shared these suggestions with the girl, and we prayed together that God would help her dad replace his negative character qualities with positive ones. We also asked God to do the same thing for the girl, replacing her anger with respect and courtesy. So they went to the ball game, and she called me afterward, excitedly describing the outing with her dad. Things had been a little strained at first, she said, but the afternoon had passed peacefully, and there had even been moments of fun and laughter. I suggested that a good next step would be for her to find something she could praise her dad for or thank him for.
As she has kept her focus on honoring her father and looking for ways to be positive and praise him, their communication has gotten better. Show love and respect. Look for opportunities to express gratefulness for the sacrifices they make as parents, and avoid being critical. Pray that God will replace the negative character qualities in both you and your parent with the opposite character traits and then watch for times when you can put those qualities to work.
When you see the Duggar family on television happily having adventures at home and around the country, it may seem like we never have disagreements or that we kids never get upset with each other or with Mom or Dad. Sometimes siblings irritate us! We get our feelings hurt! In this section we want to share the ways we relate to our parents. For Duggar kids, that begins with how we talk to and with Mom and Dad. Like most families, our parents desire that their relationship with us is one of love and mutual respect. Hear my counsel. Listen to my instruction.
I Jinger went through a couple of difficult stages when talking with Mom and Dad was both challenging—and healing. The first was when I was about five years old and we were living in a rented house near Little Rock while Dad was serving in the legislature there. One evening while Dad was driving the hour-long commute home from work, a tornado warning was issued for our area. Mom and Grandma nestled all of us kids into the bathtub, and we huddled there, praying and singing hymns as the tornado roared by a neighborhood not too far from ours.
For a long time after that I was fearful of death and of storms. There were many, many nights when I would wake up Mom and Dad in the middle of the night, worrying that another storm would come and kill us all.
Or kill me. Or kill them and leave us kids to fend for ourselves. Daddy says some nights they have a full and overflowing room full of Duggars! When I would go to my parents with my fears, they would snuggle me into their arms and reassure me. Eventually I would go back to bed and sleep soundly. I grew out of my fear of storms just in time to hit another difficult bump in the road. It came when I was turning thirteen and entering the tough stage so many girls endure somewhere between twelve and sixteen. The hormones kick in.
You suddenly notice boys. The lies in your head can seem random and constant, making you think you have to look a certain way or act a certain way. Self-acceptance becomes a major issue. You want to change your looks, your friends, your personality, everything. You want desperately to appear like a super-cool teenager, but at the same time, you may feel yourself inwardly spiraling downward into an endless well of self-doubt.
When I was in this stage, I went to my parents many a night, or I would confide in Mom during the day, sharing my worries or doubts about myself. My parents responded with unwavering love and encouragement. Mom reminded me that when Jesus was tempted, He quoted Scripture. As a family, we also memorized Ephesians —20 because it talks about the armor and weapons that we as Christians have to use against the attacks of Satan.
Like Dad, Mom also assured me that this stage would soon pass. One day, when I was in the throes of self-doubt and tempted to let worrisome thoughts fill my mind, Mom asked me if it would be okay if she asked Jana to talk with me. I agreed. Jana opened up and shared about how during her teenage years she had experienced many of the same struggles, and as she applied these same principles to her life she was able to slowly get out of this same emotional rut.
She said this emotional roller coaster affects a lot of teenage girls, but as you seek the Lord and grow in your relationship with Him you will be strengthened, and these trials will slowly fade away. In addition to daily striving to keep up with our hearts, they also set aside time—usually on one Saturday a month—specifically for heart-to-heart family time. Sometimes we talk with Mom, sometimes with Dad, or sometimes with both together. And we know they will keep our issues private unless we agree that they can share them with a sibling, like Mom did when Jinger needed encouragement from Jana.
Since our parents have a twenty-four-hour open-door policy, we sometimes come in at midnight, even 2 A. If we come in too late, things can get a bit entertaining. Dad sometimes finds it hard to stay awake. But after all, it is 2 A. From time to time, they might ask other simple questions—about our favorite food, restaurant, candy, coffee, ice cream, board game, color, music, clothes, and more. Mom takes notes!
She may have nineteen kids, but she wants to know every one of us in detail. What qualities do you admire in him or her? Does this friendship tend to build you up or pull you down? What do you want to do with your life? Whom do you want to be like? What skills do you want to develop? What books are you reading?
What interests you in that book and how has it influenced you? Have you ever thought about writing a book? What topic would you write about?
You might have guessed our answer to these last questions! What things in our family discourage you? Conflicts with siblings? Lack of space? When others get into your stuff? What changes would you like to see in us Mom and Dad? More time spent with the family? Greater spiritual leadership? What projects are you working on now? Who or what are you praying for? Career training? Mentoring others? These questions have changed over time, and of course the questions they ask depend on the age of the child having the heart-to-heart talk. Growing up with this kind of communication builds trust, and we feel the freedom to share our deepest thoughts, hopes, fears, and failures with our parents.
Their priority is that we maintain open communication at all times. And even if your parents do set aside time for heart-to-heart talks with you, we know you may not find it easy to respond. Ever been there? Our parents, Michelle and Jim Bob, value their relationship with Jesus as their top priority. Second to that comes their relationship with each other and with their family. It finally dawned on me one day that the key was for me to take responsibility in initiating the conversation—and that it was my responsibility to respond honestly to their questions when they tried to have a heart-to-heart talk.
Instead of giving superficial answers to their questions, I attempted to be more thorough and open with my answers. But the change was hard. My parents reassured me that nothing I would ever say or do could change their love for me. Their love is unconditional. They also encouraged me to try to get everything off my heart. Mom compared it to getting a splinter in your foot. Unless you get all of it out, it will continue to cause you pain and can even become infected.
Removing a splinter may be somewhat painful at first, but that is the only way to get long-term relief and bring healing. I finally shared a small thing, just to see how they would react. Then a little more and a little more until it all came pouring out in a rush of sobs and jumbled-up phrases. After I shared, I felt so free inside, almost like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. This was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but it brought peace and strengthened my relationship with my parents.
All of those fears that had held me back from talking had almost kept me from experiencing one of the most wonderful feelings in the world—a clear conscience. After several heart-to-heart meltdowns, I Jessa have gotten better at opening up and talking about things that trouble me with Mom and Dad before the problems build up. It means we feel understood by our parents, inside and out, and we know without a doubt that they accept us and love us unconditionally.
Being open can spare us many troubles later on, as so many issues in adult life are a direct result of miscommunication or noncommunication. If you visit our house, you might find yourself in the middle of a foursquare game the minute you walk in the front door!http://maisonducalvet.com/conocer-chicas-tielmes.php
Institute in Basic Life Principles
If that sounds strange to you, we encourage you to give it a try. Even if you feel your relationship with your parents is strained, try just hanging out with them and watch for opportunities to start up a conversation. In many homes, conversation flows easily around the kitchen table or across the kitchen counter as someone is cooking or preparing a meal. Ask your parents questions about their childhood and growing-up years.
Share something funny that one of your friends or little siblings said. Small talk can help to keep your relationship healthy and create a foundation for discussing deeper issues. This means we should be content with the most basic necessities of life, and that anything beyond that is an extra bonus, not something we deserve or require. Another thing that expresses ungratefulness is complaining about rules or family guidelines. It never does any good to throw a fit like a two-year-old! All of us, including parents, like to have our work and sacrifices acknowledged.
Help out around the house and watch for opportunities to do little jobs, like washing the dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning, organizing, or folding the laundry without being asked. Do your best to get along with your brothers and sisters so your home is a place of peace and joy where everyone feels safe and protected. To play the Obedience Game, the little kids all gather in the living room. Sometimes spotters are sent along with the game player to make sure the directions are followed exactly.
And of course, the faster the orders can be followed, the more applause the contestant gets when he or she slides back into the living room, out of breath and pleased with himself or herself for having complied flawlessly. As a matter of fact, as we are writing this book she is currently teaching these points to our youngest siblings. Obedience must be:.